Come Hell or High Water: A Handbook on Collective Process Gone Awry, by Delfina Vannucci and Richard Singer

Come Hell or High Water: A Handbook on Collective Process Gone Awry, by Delfina Vannucci and Richard Singer (AK Press)

This would have come in very handy dealing with IEP meetings and all. It gave me a better perspective on group dynamics in general and on several instances in my life when group dynamics went to hell in particular. It certainly clarified to some things and opened my eyes- I had at least one distinct "aha" moment.

Lines that got my attention for mostly personal reasons:

Capitalism has been built and developed over the course of its long and bloody history in a way that keeps us continually at odds with one another, and yet, at the same time, discourages any real independent thought amongst the masses. (p.13)

Not everybody has the same skill at navigating interpersonal exchanges. Some people are not good at recognizing that split second when someone has finished talking and it's okay to jump in. They are the ones who are most likely to interrupt, and be reprimanded for it, while they also, ironically, are the least likely to get a word out and have their opinions heard. (p. 70)

Regardless of the merits or faults present in each situation, it's not okay for us to inflict emotional pain on one another. That should be a basic tenet.
A commitment to compassion and justice and against cruelty (yes, that's what it is) needs to be overtly stated as the basis for an egalitarian group operates. (p. 100)

The end result of a project that has been produced collectively is an uneven patchwork of viewpoints and ability levels. Making room for everybody to contribute, even when ability is not equal, is a strength, not a weakness; so is letting the process show. We are accustomed to valuing a slick, polished presentation, but if we let the seams show, this will empower others with information about how something was put together. If we accept a heterogeneous, bumpy outcome as a given, before the work even begins, we will avoid a lot of head-butting further down the road.
Because groups based on equality presuppose mutual trust and a shared sense of mission, many of us may expect solidarity, harmony, and kindness to permeate such groups. On the contrary, adhering to egalitarian, anti-authoritarian principles means applying minimal interference to one another, or letting people be who they are- including the annoying, the trying, and the obnoxious- and accepting the outcomes as well. (p. 111)

What an empowering little book! I will have to hunt down a couple of reads they recommended.